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Humor
Sept 1, 2011 7:35:27 GMT -5
Post by elephant on Sept 1, 2011 7:35:27 GMT -5
At a wedding party recently someone yelled,"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was crushed to death!
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Humor
Sept 1, 2011 9:40:59 GMT -5
Post by pinkpanther on Sept 1, 2011 9:40:59 GMT -5
That was a good one ele. This is a true one. Mr. Panther was cutting our grass a long time ago, when he was younger and some lady stopped and asked him, "Sir how much do you charge to cut grass? Mr. Panther lowered the mower so they could hear, and said, "Well, this lady lets me sleep with her!" The lady laughed and took off, realizing he wasn't a hired hand! I still blush when I think about it
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Humor
Sept 2, 2011 11:27:10 GMT -5
Post by Aminal on Sept 2, 2011 11:27:10 GMT -5
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"
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Humor
Sept 2, 2011 19:14:54 GMT -5
Post by pinkpanther on Sept 2, 2011 19:14:54 GMT -5
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Humor
Sept 15, 2011 10:53:43 GMT -5
Post by elephant on Sept 15, 2011 10:53:43 GMT -5
But officer in dog beers I've only had one!
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Humor
Sept 15, 2011 13:42:06 GMT -5
Post by Aminal on Sept 15, 2011 13:42:06 GMT -5
Anniversary Gift For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.
When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"
“I suppose," the husband responded dryly, "we could clean the house."
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Humor
Sept 20, 2011 17:30:51 GMT -5
Post by Aminal on Sept 20, 2011 17:30:51 GMT -5
Late for Work
Hugh came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.
"What's the story this time. Hugh?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Hugh sighed and said, "Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn't turn up. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office."
"You'll have to do better than that. Hugh," replied the boss, disappointed. "No woman can be ready in ten minutes."
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Humor
Sept 22, 2011 21:05:13 GMT -5
Post by elephant on Sept 22, 2011 21:05:13 GMT -5
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Humor
Sept 22, 2011 21:41:54 GMT -5
Post by pinkpanther on Sept 22, 2011 21:41:54 GMT -5
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Humor
Sept 26, 2011 6:23:24 GMT -5
Post by elephant on Sept 26, 2011 6:23:24 GMT -5
(This one is in poor taste - thought some of you would like it.)
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
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