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Post by elephant on Aug 31, 2011 13:38:38 GMT -5
Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on, the first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded." the second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order" the third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate on, there's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable".
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Post by pinkpanther on Sept 3, 2011 17:18:36 GMT -5
Ele, where do you come up with these political goodies?
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Post by elephant on Sept 11, 2011 20:57:20 GMT -5
A college professor stood up on his chair and said "If GOD really exists then knock me off this chair." Nothing happened. As the class was quiet he said, "See!" A Marine Veteran stood up and punched him in the face knocking him out and off the chair, then sat back down. As the Professor came to he looked at his student and said "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" He said "GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid crap like this, so HE SENT ME!"
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Post by Aminal on Sept 15, 2011 14:59:55 GMT -5
Q. What's the difference between Obamacare and a car battery?
A. The car battery has a positive side.
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Post by elephant on Sept 19, 2011 21:34:46 GMT -5
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Post by pinkpanther on Sept 19, 2011 22:04:35 GMT -5
A college professor stood up on his chair and said "If GOD really exists then knock me off this chair." Nothing happened. As the class was quiet he said, "See!" A Marine Veteran stood up and punched him in the face knocking him out and off the chair, then sat back down. As the Professor came to he looked at his student and said "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" He said "GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid crap like this, so HE SENT ME!"
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Post by pinkpanther on Sept 19, 2011 22:07:27 GMT -5
Q. What's the difference between Obamacare and a car battery? A. The car battery has a positive side.
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Post by Aminal on Sept 20, 2011 16:53:58 GMT -5
WARNING: The following is NOT politically correct ... but it is Funny and strangely enough ... TRUE! Not intended for those "sensitive, touchy-feely types" A.K.A. progressive liberal nut jobs with a "sheet head blind spot". 1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim 3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim 6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim 10. Your cousin is president of the United States. You may be a Muslim 11. You find this offensive or racist. You may be a Muslim
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Aminal
Long Time Posters
A Genuine FurrBall Of Fun
Posts: 101
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Post by Aminal on Sept 28, 2011 17:08:42 GMT -5
Obama at the bank:
Barack Obama walks into the bank to cash a check. "Good morning, Ma'am," he greets the cashier, "could you please cash this check for me?"
"It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America!"
"Yes, sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc, I must insist on seeing ID."
"Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
"I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
"I am urging you please to cash this check."
"Ok, this is what we can do Mr. President: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot, making the tennis ball land in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the president of the United States?"
Obama stands there thinking and finally says, "Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing I'm good at."
"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"
;D
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Post by pinkpanther on Sept 28, 2011 20:17:07 GMT -5
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